Nathan's Baptism

One week ago, Nathan was baptized. We had a celebration at our house afterwards, with catered Chinese food in Nathan's honor. It was a very good day.

Slowly, things are becoming a little easier as we all continue to mesh as a family of four. It has been challenging, because in a lot of ways Nathan is just as needy as a toddler. He gets very jealous when I spend time with Avery. I need to stop and think that he has been through so much in these six months, and that it will take more time and energy and effort to guide him. And, God willing, I've got the time.

I keep having flash forwards in time, when my kids are older, and then I find I will take moments to stop doing the dishes (and countless endless other tasks) and sit with them. Living in the moment. I will never get this time back when they are small. And although there are bumps in the road, our lives aren't meant to be perfect. And as much as I want things to be well with us, I've found that the hardest times in my life have given me determination and wisdom. So, as Thanksgiving approaches, I am very thankful for my family. And God's beautiful plan. Bumps and all.

Wish lists already...

Yes, we are all still alive. Every moment of every day is busy. I didn't know that life could be this busy. And I only have two kids...

Nathan started out school with excitement and optimism. Just a few weeks into it, he became so frustrated that he internalized a lot of anger. He is a perfectionist, and that coupled with the fact that he is trying to adapt to a brand new culture and language would put any young child into a challenging state of affairs, to say the least. He has periodically grieved his losses, and recently he has really been really turning the corner in a positive direction. His demeanor has changed for the better, and he generally seems to be, day by day, becoming more comfortable with his family and his new country.

He got to go fishing with his Papa recently, and he caught 2 blue gills. Although he likes to catch the fish, he expects them to bite right away. We had a good time.

And Avery just loves her cat Abby. I think that Abby follows her around in the mornings especially since she knows Avery will patiently scratch her cheeks until the cat has had enough of the scratching and leaves. Avery just adores Abby. It is really nice to see her love her kitty so much.

So here is a picture of the kids looking at the Toys 'R Us catalog, you know, the Christmas edition. And seemingly Nathan knows just what to do and how this whole Christmas thing works. Seems to me he already loves that jolly 'ole fat man. He was bothered at the thought that St. Nick would be getting his carpet wet with snow. So I told him not to worry, he'll wipe his feet off before he delivers the presents under the tree. He is so concerned about a mess. He is his father's son.

Soccer begins....

We took a chance and signed both of the kids up for soccer right after we arrived home in May, not knowing what our lives had in store for the future. Thankfully, Nathan is pretty easygoing, and likes to try new things. And so far, so good.

We have practices every Monday and Wednesday, and the first game was this past Saturday. Avery was daydreaming a lot of the time, and also being a stinker too to her momma, which got her a talking to after the game. I'll plead the fifth on the specifics.

Nathan, who had been a little unsure of what to do all through the practices, completely brought his "A" game, and scored a goal and an assist! It was amazing to see the confidence in him, and to experience him growing in so many ways day by day.

Tomorrow, the kids go back to school. I just can't believe it. Nathan is starting first grade, and I know he'll do fine. I pray that his teacher will be understanding of this brave child who has been through so many changes in these past three months. He has come so far with learning our family unit, our language, and what is expected of him. He still holds back most of the time with his affection, but he seems happy and content, and we do get an "I love you" at night from him (after we tell him of course, but we'll take it any way we can get it).

I can only imagine what the future holds for him, and how he will be in another three months. We decided we will send him to Chinese school, which starts at the end of the month.

And our Avery, she continues to amaze me every day with her vocabulary, reasoning, and negotiating skills. She is a funny, funny girl, and sometimes, she'll say something, and we are cracking up until she makes a sort of snorting sound, and then, well, we laugh even harder. We've discovered it's fun to have "girl parties" and paint our nails and do the things that girls like to do. And she insists on locking her bedroom door during these parties to make sure that no boys get in...

Long weekend vacation

We took the kids to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin recently for a last minute getaway before I went back to work. The first night, we stayed at an indoor water park, which had a "countryside view" of horses. It was so calming watching the horses graze in the distance. Avery absolutely loved watching them. She was squealing with excitement when she first saw them - adorable. After we checked out of the hotel, we went to a petting zoo and also let Avery ride a pony. She was a little scared, but enjoyed it nonetheless.

Nathan is talking more each day. I feel like every day he says something new. Here are some of the latest things: "Can you find a fish?" and "What are you talking about?" and "I have something for you." And last night he told Avery, "Get outta my room!" Yes, he was mad. Avery knows how to press every one of Nathan's buttons and she had harassed him, and he had had enough. Gotta love the sibling fights. It happens to all of us who have siblings. They both really need to start school, so that they can focus on something other than tattling on each other. Sigh. And life goes on....

Beach and boat ride

We are fortunate enough to have some good friends that have a boat. We spent the morning at the beach, and in the afternoon, we took a boat ride. Both of the kids got to drive the boat (with our friend Jeff behind them) and they were very excited.

Avery is our thrill seeker, and clearly you can see she is loving life. Nathan was probably concentrating on not trying to hit anyone. It was a great day.

Tomorrow, I go back to work. I am thankful for my time off with the kids. There were some amazing days, and some very tough days. And I would not change a thing.

I feel that Nathan has grown so much since we met him 2.5 months ago. His English continues to amaze me, and he is keeping up his Chinese with our sister-in-law. Avery has struggled at times not being the only one anymore, but slowly she is understanding what having a brother is all about. Next month, Nathan will start first grade and Avery will go back to preschool. They are both ready, and I think that the structure will be good for them both.

So the coffee pot is set to brew at 6am. Yes, caffeine is my friend.

America the Beautiful

We had a wonderful 4th of July weekend. We took the kids to the fireworks, and they had a great time. They were running around before the fireworks, chasing daddy and the other friends that we were with.

We also went to the 4th of July parade that we attend every year at Eric's uncle's house. It was amazing to watch Nathan, and to be present with this boy who is now an American citizen. I was feeling a sense of pride for him, an opportunity that he will get to be whatever he wants to be, and I was humbled by him having freedom. Sweet freedom.

Wordless Wednesday

English explosion

Well this boy of ours is talking up a storm. He is comprehending at an unbelievable rate as well. Here are some of the things he is saying:

"This is for you."

"Watch this."

"I want to do."

"What are you doing?"

"Mother, I can't do this. This is too hard."

"I want to take a picture."

And his new favorite word...."AWESOME!"

It is amazing to think how far he has come. And I am the one who has been able to spend each day with him, to watch him grow. There have been some tough times, but I am very thankful that the things that we needed to address are very minor. And I cannot wait to have some expanded conversations with him. I have a feeling that time will be just a few months away...

Oh, and have I ever mentioned what a detail-oriented kid I got? He is very skilled at building things. I see a Purdue Engineer in my future....

Look Ma...I lost my tooth!

Nathan lost his tooth - the top one that was loose since China - on June 18th. He was very excited and couldn't wait to tell us. And he was even more excited to get money. He was actually at Grandma's house when he lost it, so he wanted to call his momma right away. Sweet boy. And after a pretty rough week, it was such a nice moment between us on the phone. I felt even more of a closeness to him.

Since last Friday, he has been so much better. I am so very thankful. He is now starting his whining thing a little bit in the past day or two, but it is more tolerable.

We had a visit to my work today, and Nathan and Avery drew pictures for everyone. Nathan even gave the doctor a (fake) shot! Too funny....

And oh! The other day Nathan told me, "Mother, can you open this?" Holy Moley - can you believe all of those words he put together at once? So proud of him...

Tough times

This past week has been a trying time for myself and Nathan. In addition to a lot of whining, he has finally let out his tears, which I believe he was holding in since we got him. I am talking some serious crying here. I think he had to finally start to grieve, and let out some of his emotions that he has been keeping inside - a very normal part of his being adopted into a new family, language and culture... dealing with his losses. He has been testing my every last ounce of patience, and trying to be in complete control. Of course, he needs to understand that Eric and I are the ones in control, and I believe that from the last few days and the progress I think we have made, that he is beginning to understand that. I must keep reminding myself how scary it must be to be in his size 12 shoes. And he has proven that he is a boy of courage.

No one said that this would be easy. I am so thankful that I am off of work right now, so that I can deal with every situation as it comes. The time is going by so fast.

I made Nathan a chart, where he can earn stickers for good deeds being done. Five stickers earn him a fun size Kit Kat bar, which to him is a big motivator - and being a chocolate lover, I don't blame him, really. So I am focusing more on positive things, and it seems to be helping.

So I hope that these past few days we have made some progress. Time will tell.

Oh, one awesome thing is that Nathan lost one of his top front teeth! He was so excited, particularly to get money under his pillow. Next time I will post pictures of his new smile.

In the meantime, here are some more pictures of the kids. They went to a "bounce house" and loved every second of it.

Happy Father's Day to all of you dads out there!

My little girl is turning 4!!!

Miss Avery turns four years old tomorrow! We had a party with some family members, and she had a good time. I cannot believe that she is such a big girl now. She is a good girl, and I feel that she is making some headway in her behavior, albeit slowly. I have said this repeatedly already, but she has such a strong personality, (my alpha child) that it is difficult at times in the discipline department. It helps so much that she is more cognitively developed, so her comprehension of important concepts help her make the right choices. This parenting gig is the hardest job in the world. We all know that. But man, do I love that little girl! Happy Birthday to my sweet Avery!

Nathan this past week has been trying to figure out his place in the family, and has been testing his mother most days. I know that he will figure things out, and I cannot imagine his previous experiences, and the change that he has gone through. If this is the worst of it, then we've got it good. I know that he is making progress. And he is starting to hug us more, which is what we have been patiently waiting for. This is so early on - we are on the right road, even though things can be overwhelming at times. It is all normal stuff.


Our boy is saying sentences now fairly regularly. The latest: "Mother, can you open?" "Father, it doesn't work." "Father, watch TV?" "Wait a sec" and the most popular, think of it said in a whiny tone, "I'm cold!" I feel like he understands 80-90% of what I tell him. I try to keep the words pretty simple when I explain things, and I think that helps.

Oh, and by the way, Nathan's front tooth is loose, so he is excited to get a visit from the tooth fairy, and make some money. Eating is a challenge, with both the tooth issue, and adjusting to the American food, but we are finding our way.

Here are some pics for your enjoyment, including Nathan playing the Kai Lan computer game that he loves, and Nathan showing Avery how to use chopsticks - he is actually feeding her!

Time keeps on ticking

The days are flying by. This Friday, we will have had Nathan for a month now.

Nathan's vocabulary and understanding of the English language are increasing every day. He is a smart boy and is eager to learn. A very good friend of ours is a teacher with English as a second language (ESL) experience, and will start tutoring Nathan in the next week or so. We are so excited for him to learn even more than he is learning now.

Nathan was trying to understand the relationship of our two kitties. Our smaller cat, Abby, is younger, but a spitfire. Our (much) bigger cat, Sara, is older (turns 14 this month) and is, for lack of a better term, Garfield. Nathan asked me, "Mother, Father?" I said, "No." Then he said, "Abby Mei Mei?" Yes! Abby is the younger sister! So then he started calling Abby "Avery" and Sara "Nathan". So yesterday, he said to me, "Mother, Nathan Kitty no come up!" I have been letting Sara come on the main level for a few hours each day, and I had opened the basement door, and he wanted her to come up right away! He is very concerned about things happening in the house, and is often explaining to me what Avery is doing. Avery takes this as Nathan tattling on her, and she gets upset more often than not. I explain to her that he is concerned and is trying to use his English. She isn't buying it. Imagine that.

He is also saying, "I'm ready!" It is just adorable.

The first picture is Nathan eating a smore with chopsticks - this was his request. There is also a picture of the kids pouncing on their daddy, which happens often until daddy gets a kick in the ribs and is injured for a few days. Then there is Nathan's first time in our pool.

Today, Avery and Nathan wrote their names on the chalkboard. Nathan, my Type A child, wrote his name perfectly. Bless his heart.

I am also so proud of my girl, who just yesterday really started trying to write all of the letters in her name. They are very random on the picture, some unrecognizable, but it warmed her momma's heart for taking a lot of time to write each letter. I hugged her so tight after she presented it to us. Yes, her work was concealed until the big revealing. Precious girl. Can you see how proud she is in the picture?

Playground fun in Chicago

This past weekend, we went with my brother and sister-in-law to Chicago. We ate lunch in Chinatown, and did a little shopping there. We bought Nathan some chopsticks, and Avery a starter set of chopsticks. Nathan saw a candy store, and immediately walked in. The kids got some yummy treats - Thanks again Aunt Elaine!

We then headed to Millennium Park and walked around. We enjoyed some ice cream as well. We were on our way to the lakefront, when we spotted a park. The kiddos had a great time. Our two kids were tackling their dad (as usual), when another little Chinese boy spotted them attacking Eric. So this little boy joined in the fun...cracked us up!

We made it to the lakefront, and Nathan was amazed at the size of some of the boats. I said to Avery, "Look at the size of that boat!" The girl wasn't impressed. Guess that's one of the many differences between boys and girls. So thanks to Joe and Elaine for a wonderful day, and the beautiful pictures. They are priceless.

So, we are getting more and more settled day by day. Can I tell you that these days just fly by? I am thoroughly enjoying my time off with the kids. I will never get these moments back, and I do cherish them.

Nathan is understanding more and more English each day. He is picking up some more words (socks, shoes, drink, hungry, upstairs, downstairs) and he is even saying small sentences and is able to get his point across. He just told me, "Meow is sleeping." Meow is what he calls our cat Abby. The other night, Eric was upstairs with the kids - they were all watching SpongeBob, and Nathan came downstairs to me and said, "Mother! More SpongeBob! Mei Mei bed! Father bed!" Eric and Avery had drifted off to sleep and he wanted more SpongeBob! It is amazing to continually witness his growth with our culture and language. And I can tell that he is comprehending more by what I tell him and ask of him. This is amazing stuff....

Next time I will post some pictures of the kids in our pool, (and Nathan's first time in our pool) along with a very interesting picture of Nathan, involving the way he ate a smore.

The weather here in the Midwest has been beautiful. I have two great kids, a wonderful husband, and great family and friends. Life is good.

A day in the life

The kids are doing just fine. They amuse each other, which is good for their mama. They like to watch TV together, chase each other, and ride bikes in the house together. So, in a way, it's a little easier on me.

On the other hand, I have one person calling me mommy and the other calling me mother quite a bit. I have told Avery she is going to need to be less dependent on me, since she is getting older and cannot get my undivided attention anymore. It is hard for her, but she'll conform. She has often been challenging me (not in a good way) and has spent some time in her bedroom for bad behavior. I wonder what her brother is thinking when she is throwing a 3 year old tantrum - screaming at the top of her lungs and flailing. She pushes the limits and he is rule follower. I am a rule follower as well, which is a trait that I love in him. But, I am fond of Avery's leadership qualities, and the fact that the girl knows what she wants. It is very challenging at times to discipline her given her specific personality. God broke the mold when He made her. Seriously. Love that girl to pieces though.

Now let's talk about that boy that I love.

I took him to his new school yesterday that he will attend in the fall to fill out paperwork. Then, I happened to meet the ESL (English as a second language) teacher, and she seems very dedicated and really nice. I was completely impressed. Nathan will be in first grade in the fall. He will be in the regular classroom most of the day, and he will get one hour of one on one time with the ESL teacher. We ended up going on a tour, and he got to see the library, art room, computer room, and the gym. Also, Eric's aunt works at the school, so we saw her and her classroom. Her students had been following our journey while we were in China, so they were excited to see Nathan (and Avery!) in person. I think he liked the visit.

He is saying in everyday conversation: hot, cold, drink, water, milk, open, chocolate, yes, no, Avery, Nathan, mother, father, thank you, you're welcome, hello, bye bye, please, TV, noodle, fries, pizza, take a shower, brush the teeth. He knows up, down, hold hands, wash the hands, stop, lay down, and come here - and more I'm sure that I am probably forgetting.

We are calling him Nathan now and he is responding, although sometimes we forget and call him Guohao.

So I must say that life is not as overwhelming as I thought it would be at this point. I am a very lucky mommy.

One more thing - Avery just asked him for an M&M, and he said, "Hold on!" I love it!!!

Sweet siblings

Nathan Guohao is doing well. He is getting along fine with his sister, and has just begun to harass her a little today, with a little mimicking as they were shooting some baskets in our indoor basketball court. You know - that good old fashioned boy fun. And by indoor basketball court, I am talking over the door Nerf basketball in the foyer. I know that he is becoming more comfortable with her. He does have a joking personality, which is subtle in his own way, but adorable too in my eyes.

Please note in the first picture Avery is not too thrilled. This was the first night home, and she was trying to figure out what she had gotten herself into by volunteering to be a little sister. But when Nathan Guohao starting blowing bubbles for her, she was completely convinced that she just might keep him around for a few days.

He is saying regularly "take a shower", "brush the teeth", and this morning he told me, "Mother, eat noodle!" He learned the word noodle yesterday - it is his tie to his homeland and his familiar food that he needs right now. He is eating Chinese noodles by the truckload, and that is okay with me.

Eric was in the basement tonight with the kids, and they were giggling together - that kind of pure fun that a child has, that seems to diminish as we reach our adult years.

A brother was exactly what Avery needed. Although she is realizing that the world does not revolve around her anymore (the nerve of us), she does know that she cares deeply for her brother. She told me today, "Mommy, I love Guohao." It was honest and sincere. And that makes me so happy.